Mirror, Mirror

Had my partnering lesson with Anna this morning.  Things do seem to be progressing, but true to form I am obsessing about details too much.

Had an interesting realization today - As a dancer, I have become extremely dependent upon mirrors for visual feedback of what my body is doing - so much so that I find myself really REALLY missing them at the rink.  It's as if my own kinaesthetic awareness isn't really enough for me to know what I'm doing - the mirrors have become, over the years, a crutch.  It's making it hard for me to really KNOW what I look like, if I'm hitting the right positions, if I have my weight in the right place, blah blah blah.  When Anna or Will tell me to "lean this way", or "turn the shoulders that way", I can't really tell if I'm doing it or not.  I NEED those mirrors.

I never realized how dependent upon them I had become.  Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  I mean - as a dancer, it's ok because you almost always have them - but as a skater it's proving to be a challenge.  You can - sort of - see you reflection in the safety plexiglass around the edges of the rink - it's there for hockey - but not well enough to tell what you really look like.

It's too bad that I have a major aversion to watching myself on video...  For some strange reason, I'm OK watching myself intently in a mirror for hours on end during a class or rehearsal, but make me sit down and watch a video of myself and I get extremely uncomfortable.  Not sure why.  Perhaps it's because, when I'm looking in a mirror, I'm looking at one specific body part (hand, leg, whatever) and don't normally concentrate on the whole thing so much.  On video, that's the first thing you get - the whole thing.  And I've never really LIKED the "whole thing" so I can't seem to get past that aversion in order to dissect what's actually going on.

Interesting.  I'm going to have to figure out how to either develop a better sense of what I'm doing so I don't need the mirrors so much - or get over my aversion to what I look like.

Fat chance :)

Finally making progress partnering

It's been a hard-fought battle, but I think I'm finally getting used to skating with a partner.  Poor Anna has been terribly patient with me (including a couple of near-wipeouts that would have definitely left a mark) and her patience has borne fruit.  I've just about got the Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango under my belt (well, not good enough for my ultra-perfectionist bent, but nearly good enough, it seems, to pass the test).  We start work on Rhythm & Blues next week.  I've missed the opportunity for testing in June (that's next week) but I should be ready the next time around - at least for the dance tests.  I'm still working on the first MIF (Moves in the Field) figure skating elements and don't have them all down yet - but with another month or so they might be ready as well.

I continue to struggle with getting my ass out of bed at 5am.  Once I'm up and moving, I'm always glad to be getting dressed and out the door to the rink, but getting my lazy ass to actually get UP has become a struggle.  Not sure if it's just that I'm tired (which I am - having insomnia issues) or just suffering from a flagging dedication to the enormous amount of work this has turned out to be - but one way or the other, I seem to only get to the rink 2 or 3 times a week right now.  Need to spend some time this weekend figuring out what it's going to take to get my lazy butt up every morning.

Cattle prod, anyone?