It's official - after 22 months (backing out the 6 I lost to the motorcycle accident, call it 16 months' work) I have officially passed my first set of ice dance tests - Dutch Waltz, Canasta Tango, and Rhythm & Blues. I'm officially a Pre-Bronze level skater.
Of course, that sort of means that the training wheels can now come off, but that I shouldn't be biking in traffic just yet. :) This isn't a HUGE step, but it is a step.
The morning started with Anna and I meeting up for one last runthrough of the dances. My test wouldn't be until close to 6pm so this was our last chance to double check everything. She put the music on, and when she got over to me, right there in the center of her face was a big red clown nose. She was doing it to relax me - and it worked so well I was useless, on the floor laughing for 10 minutes. It worked of course. After that, how COULD you be nervous?
Things went fine, and I met Will and Anna back at the rink this afternoon for the "big deal". During the Dutch Waltz, I could tell I was holding back - we didn't have nearly the momentum we normally do, and the first pattern (you have to do it twice) was smaller than usual - I got that corrected for the second time through and all in all I think did a credible job.
After waiting for one of the kids to test something, we were back on the ice for Canasta Tango. I realized now that I was holding back, so tried (tried) to get the energy back. My legs were shaking just a little bit at this point - Anna's solution was to "bend my knees more". That's both Will and Anna's answer to just about any question or problem. Not balanced? Bend you knees more. Not enough power? Bend your knees more. Feeling like you are going to throw up? Bend your knees more. Solution to world hunger? Bend your knees..... you get the picture.
During the Tango, we had a bobble that we've NEVER had happen before, and it spooked me for the rest of the dance. Honestly, I thought I'd sealed my fate at that point and wouldn't pass this one. Will tells me that it looked like Anna has lost her balance rather than me. Great - I've now gone on the record as being able to make my partner look bad. Wonderful :) At any rate, I got a pass on it so no harm done.
After another kid, we were back for the final dance - Rhythm & Blues. Now I'm shaking in the legs AND worried about the mutant bobble on the Tango. If I was soft pedaling the Waltz, I REALLY pulled back on this one. Hardly got 3/4 of the way across the ice the first pass, then WAY overcompensated for it on the second pass and almost smeared Anna against the boards. Pulled off the steps, though - and again, got a pass.
Honestly, probably at least one of those "Passes" was a gift from the judge - they don't EVER want to scare away men because there aren't enough of us... but I'll take the gift just to have gotten past this first milestone. Now that I've done this once, hopefully things will be a little easier in the future.
My next test is planned to be the first Adults Moves-in-the-field test in October. That the first level of singles ice skating test and we are doing these in parallel because of the discipline it drives in learning the basics. I don't have to do these as an ice dancer, but I want to. Sort of like continuing to take ballet all through my dance career even though I definitely DON'T have a ballet body. It's good discipline for the fundamentals. The next set of dance tests is probably a year out at this point so this gives me a more near-term goal.
I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED!!!!
My thanks to Will and Anna for getting me through to this point. Will has been immensely patient turning me from someone who couldn't stop without running into something into a pre-bronze ice dancer, all in 16 months. Miracles do indeed happen. Anna for being willing to relearn all these beginner dances just for me and then helping me figure out how to do everything Will taught me, but with someone in my way :) They are great coaches, and wonderful people. Bravo.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Standing on a big block of ice = good thing
DAMN it was hot in Seattle today. Suddenly, the prospect of standing on a huge block of ice tomorrow for my first skating tests doesn't sound so bad. Even if I make a complete ass of myself, at least I won't be SWEATING.
OK - so I'm nervous. Weird, huh? I've been on stage in front of 5,000 people, and I've even stood there NAKED, and this - THIS - is freaking me out? Go figure.
I think I've figured it out, though - this is more like an audition than a performance. I never had any problems with actual shows. I'm a wreck from "places" to my first entrance, but cool as a cucumber the rest of the time. I LOVE being in front of an audience. A nice, anonymous, faceless, audience.
Auditions always got the best of my nerves - and I think dancer-brain is treating this test like an audition. Great. Just what I need. Honestly, I think I'd be better off if there was a huge audience instead of just me and three people who are no doubt smirking behind their hands at a 48-year old fully grown adult trying to pick up this sport cold.
The bright spot is both my coaches say I am ready. As long as I can keep my nerves under control, I should be able to sail through this. In my head, I'm thinking "as long as I don't trip Anna and manage not to smear her against the boards", it's all good :) Dead coach = bad thing.
Wish me luck. I have a runthrough with both coaches in the morning, then an agonizing wait until 5:50pm when my tests start. I didn't even TRY to go to work Monday. No point - I'd be useless. I'm going to spend the day in my studio working on dresses for The Ruby Room's fundraiser fashion show. Hopefully, that will distract me enough.
or not....
OK - so I'm nervous. Weird, huh? I've been on stage in front of 5,000 people, and I've even stood there NAKED, and this - THIS - is freaking me out? Go figure.
I think I've figured it out, though - this is more like an audition than a performance. I never had any problems with actual shows. I'm a wreck from "places" to my first entrance, but cool as a cucumber the rest of the time. I LOVE being in front of an audience. A nice, anonymous, faceless, audience.
Auditions always got the best of my nerves - and I think dancer-brain is treating this test like an audition. Great. Just what I need. Honestly, I think I'd be better off if there was a huge audience instead of just me and three people who are no doubt smirking behind their hands at a 48-year old fully grown adult trying to pick up this sport cold.
The bright spot is both my coaches say I am ready. As long as I can keep my nerves under control, I should be able to sail through this. In my head, I'm thinking "as long as I don't trip Anna and manage not to smear her against the boards", it's all good :) Dead coach = bad thing.
Wish me luck. I have a runthrough with both coaches in the morning, then an agonizing wait until 5:50pm when my tests start. I didn't even TRY to go to work Monday. No point - I'd be useless. I'm going to spend the day in my studio working on dresses for The Ruby Room's fundraiser fashion show. Hopefully, that will distract me enough.
or not....
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Well, it's official... my first tests are Monday August 16 at 5pm
Goddess help me, it's all official and scheduled. My first set of dance tests are on Monday, August 16 at 5pm. I received confirmation of the schedule from the Testing Coordinator for the club yesterday. There, interleaved with the names of a dozen or so eleven year olds was mine.
It's really quite strange. I didn't think this whole testing process would phase me, really. I mean, for god's sake I've been on stage in front of 5,000 people when the curtain went up. A little skating test in front of a couple of judges shouldn't be anything that would cause nervousness. Au contraire.... When I was filling out the application form, I felt that very familiar twinge of nerves hit - out of the freakin' blue. What the f? Really? REALLY?
Damn.
OK - so maybe I am a little nervous. My coaches (yes, it's official - I have two coaches now and it's fun to watch the contradict each other during my lessons - great spectator sport) have assured me that I'm more than ready for this. In fact, they haven't decided if I'm to test on the adult track or the standard track. The adult track standards are lower, and I think they are thinking of having me test to the standard track for a couple of reasons - first, it's a higher standard for me to aspire to, and second - I think they get more kudo's as coaches if they manage to drag my sorry adult beginner ass up to that level :)
Either way, as long as I don't lose my head this should go OK, I suppose.
I told Anna that my normal routine as a performer was to be cool as a cucumber until they call "places", at which point I become a wreck until my first entrance. After that, I calm down and it's all just fine - but for those few minutes between times, I have a full on panic attack and believe quite convincingly that I've forgotten everything and am about to make a complete ass of myself.
It's like that old nightmare that most performers have at some point in their lives.... that they are about to go on stage and have no idea what they are supposed to do - or even what show this is. Been there, done that. Far too often.
Well - I suppose the bright spot is that they have me, after all, testing all three of the first set of dances. My personal goal is to pass two of them. If I land all three, then whoopee doodle for me - but I'll call it a success if I pass two and don't do something terribly stupid on the odd one out (like fall on my ass or, worse, trip Anna). Been there, done that.
Sigh. I'll keep you posted.
It's really quite strange. I didn't think this whole testing process would phase me, really. I mean, for god's sake I've been on stage in front of 5,000 people when the curtain went up. A little skating test in front of a couple of judges shouldn't be anything that would cause nervousness. Au contraire.... When I was filling out the application form, I felt that very familiar twinge of nerves hit - out of the freakin' blue. What the f? Really? REALLY?
Damn.
OK - so maybe I am a little nervous. My coaches (yes, it's official - I have two coaches now and it's fun to watch the contradict each other during my lessons - great spectator sport) have assured me that I'm more than ready for this. In fact, they haven't decided if I'm to test on the adult track or the standard track. The adult track standards are lower, and I think they are thinking of having me test to the standard track for a couple of reasons - first, it's a higher standard for me to aspire to, and second - I think they get more kudo's as coaches if they manage to drag my sorry adult beginner ass up to that level :)
Either way, as long as I don't lose my head this should go OK, I suppose.
I told Anna that my normal routine as a performer was to be cool as a cucumber until they call "places", at which point I become a wreck until my first entrance. After that, I calm down and it's all just fine - but for those few minutes between times, I have a full on panic attack and believe quite convincingly that I've forgotten everything and am about to make a complete ass of myself.
It's like that old nightmare that most performers have at some point in their lives.... that they are about to go on stage and have no idea what they are supposed to do - or even what show this is. Been there, done that. Far too often.
Well - I suppose the bright spot is that they have me, after all, testing all three of the first set of dances. My personal goal is to pass two of them. If I land all three, then whoopee doodle for me - but I'll call it a success if I pass two and don't do something terribly stupid on the odd one out (like fall on my ass or, worse, trip Anna). Been there, done that.
Sigh. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Skating is not fun
Ok - there. I've said it. Skating is not fun. It doesn't feel like it's EVER been fun.
I think I just needed to get that off my chest. The past few workouts have been supremely frustrating. I'm not making nearly the progress I feel like I should - There are things I am still struggling with that Will taught me over a year ago. I don't get to be out on the ice and enjoying the movement and actually feeling like what I'm doing looks like something. It's a soul crushing, ego destroying, clumsy horrid mess that is a chore more than a joy.
My mantra at my lesson this morning was "Crap - I have crap here, I have crap there - I have lots of crap. You want crap, I can give you crap." All done with a flawless french accent :)
When I said this to Will this morning, he chided me pretty hard about my expectations and standards being way out of line. He actually said at one point "are you expecting that you will look like me?" I said - "well, to be honest - Yes, I do. It doesn't make any sense, but I do".
Of course, this is all bullshit and of course I'm out of my mind and insane - but that's the truth. I expect that I can do things as well and as effortlessly as my coach, whose been skating since he was a kid.
And so, I hate skating. Logical, right? :)
If I'm going to last with the sport, I'm going to have to come to terms with - and be OK with - being crappy. And that's not something I'm good at.
I think I just needed to get that off my chest. The past few workouts have been supremely frustrating. I'm not making nearly the progress I feel like I should - There are things I am still struggling with that Will taught me over a year ago. I don't get to be out on the ice and enjoying the movement and actually feeling like what I'm doing looks like something. It's a soul crushing, ego destroying, clumsy horrid mess that is a chore more than a joy.
My mantra at my lesson this morning was "Crap - I have crap here, I have crap there - I have lots of crap. You want crap, I can give you crap." All done with a flawless french accent :)
When I said this to Will this morning, he chided me pretty hard about my expectations and standards being way out of line. He actually said at one point "are you expecting that you will look like me?" I said - "well, to be honest - Yes, I do. It doesn't make any sense, but I do".
Of course, this is all bullshit and of course I'm out of my mind and insane - but that's the truth. I expect that I can do things as well and as effortlessly as my coach, whose been skating since he was a kid.
And so, I hate skating. Logical, right? :)
If I'm going to last with the sport, I'm going to have to come to terms with - and be OK with - being crappy. And that's not something I'm good at.
Friday, July 9, 2010
One of those days.....
Today's lesson was one of "those" days.... you know, the days where you can't find the floor with both hands and you can't prove a week's worth of hard work to your coach because you've suddenly grown an extra leg or something and can't stay on your feet.
yep - it was one of "those" days.
Part of this might be that I'm just tired. I've upped my practice sessions to twice a day - an hour in the morning and an hour again in the late afternoon after work. Having that extra time from 5-6pm is really useful because I almost always have the rink to myself and can practice the backwards stuff without worrying about killing a kid. The downside it that I'm really pooped - work is kicking my butt these days so I arrive at the rink already tired - and then skate hard for an hour. I think that showed today during my lesson. I felt like I had made so much progress on the three turn combination and BAM I couldn't even get through the first turn without falling down. It's like taking your car to the shop, only to have it stop making "that noise". You look like a fool, and I certainly felt like one today.
yep - it was one of "those" days. And I HATE "those" days.
Sigh.
Will (and Anna too) is constantly telling me that I set my standards too high and expect too much of myself. Be that as it may (and he might be right) I still feel like I'm just not making fast enough progress - and that frustrates the hell out of me.
yep - it was one of "those" days.
Part of this might be that I'm just tired. I've upped my practice sessions to twice a day - an hour in the morning and an hour again in the late afternoon after work. Having that extra time from 5-6pm is really useful because I almost always have the rink to myself and can practice the backwards stuff without worrying about killing a kid. The downside it that I'm really pooped - work is kicking my butt these days so I arrive at the rink already tired - and then skate hard for an hour. I think that showed today during my lesson. I felt like I had made so much progress on the three turn combination and BAM I couldn't even get through the first turn without falling down. It's like taking your car to the shop, only to have it stop making "that noise". You look like a fool, and I certainly felt like one today.
yep - it was one of "those" days. And I HATE "those" days.
Sigh.
Will (and Anna too) is constantly telling me that I set my standards too high and expect too much of myself. Be that as it may (and he might be right) I still feel like I'm just not making fast enough progress - and that frustrates the hell out of me.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Testing August 16
Well it looks like we finally have a target date for my first tests - August 16. Yes, I'm terrified.
The good news is that the Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango will definitely be ready (they are pretty much there now) and it's a good bet that Rhythm & Blues will be ready as well. It would be nice to pass all three and get to my first level all in one go. The real question will be whether the first Moves in the Field (MIF) test will be ready or not. I've got everything but the three turn combination pretty much well in hand at this point, but it all needs polishing. That three turn combination might not be ready in time as I've not had much time to work on it. Unlike the dances (which you can take individually over several testing periods) the MIF stuff has to all be passed at once. At any rate, I'm going to leave it up to Will and Anna as to what we tackle.
The one bright spot in all this is that one of the other coaches saw Anna and I working on the Dutch Waltz on Wednesday and asked "why haven't you tested" :) That made my day more than he will probably ever know.
I've been watching more videos of people testing on YouTube, and it's surprising what crap passes, quite frankly. I know that Will is setting higher standards for me - mostly because (he says) the adult track doesn't have the rigor of the standard track (the "kids" track) and he thinks I can aspire to more, but I'm honestly surprised at how lame a lot of the testing videos are. I've mentioned this to Will more than once, worried that in spite of all my work I look just as lame, but he assures me that I don't. I think I've said before in a post that I don't want to work this hard to just make my way UP to "lame".
I will admit to being a little frustrated - my original goal was to pass my first set of tests within a year of starting - and yes, I'm arrogant :) Losing last summer to that broken ankle put me at least 5 months behind, so I suppose I'm close to that original schedule - October will be 2 years since I started (DAMN has it really been two years?) so it's more like 16 months when you take out the lost time. I guess I shouldn't be pissy about it, but I am. I've never been one to settle for "normal" - been like that all my life. "Average" is "failure" in my mental calculus. Don't know where I got that from - certainly my parents never pushed me that hard - but it does make me work hard and set often unreasonable standards for myself.
I wonder if not always living up to my inflated standards is part of why I've always had a deep seated feeling of inadequacy...
The good news is that the Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango will definitely be ready (they are pretty much there now) and it's a good bet that Rhythm & Blues will be ready as well. It would be nice to pass all three and get to my first level all in one go. The real question will be whether the first Moves in the Field (MIF) test will be ready or not. I've got everything but the three turn combination pretty much well in hand at this point, but it all needs polishing. That three turn combination might not be ready in time as I've not had much time to work on it. Unlike the dances (which you can take individually over several testing periods) the MIF stuff has to all be passed at once. At any rate, I'm going to leave it up to Will and Anna as to what we tackle.
The one bright spot in all this is that one of the other coaches saw Anna and I working on the Dutch Waltz on Wednesday and asked "why haven't you tested" :) That made my day more than he will probably ever know.
I've been watching more videos of people testing on YouTube, and it's surprising what crap passes, quite frankly. I know that Will is setting higher standards for me - mostly because (he says) the adult track doesn't have the rigor of the standard track (the "kids" track) and he thinks I can aspire to more, but I'm honestly surprised at how lame a lot of the testing videos are. I've mentioned this to Will more than once, worried that in spite of all my work I look just as lame, but he assures me that I don't. I think I've said before in a post that I don't want to work this hard to just make my way UP to "lame".
I will admit to being a little frustrated - my original goal was to pass my first set of tests within a year of starting - and yes, I'm arrogant :) Losing last summer to that broken ankle put me at least 5 months behind, so I suppose I'm close to that original schedule - October will be 2 years since I started (DAMN has it really been two years?) so it's more like 16 months when you take out the lost time. I guess I shouldn't be pissy about it, but I am. I've never been one to settle for "normal" - been like that all my life. "Average" is "failure" in my mental calculus. Don't know where I got that from - certainly my parents never pushed me that hard - but it does make me work hard and set often unreasonable standards for myself.
I wonder if not always living up to my inflated standards is part of why I've always had a deep seated feeling of inadequacy...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Mirror, Mirror
Had my partnering lesson with Anna this morning. Things do seem to be progressing, but true to form I am obsessing about details too much.
Had an interesting realization today - As a dancer, I have become extremely dependent upon mirrors for visual feedback of what my body is doing - so much so that I find myself really REALLY missing them at the rink. It's as if my own kinaesthetic awareness isn't really enough for me to know what I'm doing - the mirrors have become, over the years, a crutch. It's making it hard for me to really KNOW what I look like, if I'm hitting the right positions, if I have my weight in the right place, blah blah blah. When Anna or Will tell me to "lean this way", or "turn the shoulders that way", I can't really tell if I'm doing it or not. I NEED those mirrors.
I never realized how dependent upon them I had become. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean - as a dancer, it's ok because you almost always have them - but as a skater it's proving to be a challenge. You can - sort of - see you reflection in the safety plexiglass around the edges of the rink - it's there for hockey - but not well enough to tell what you really look like.
It's too bad that I have a major aversion to watching myself on video... For some strange reason, I'm OK watching myself intently in a mirror for hours on end during a class or rehearsal, but make me sit down and watch a video of myself and I get extremely uncomfortable. Not sure why. Perhaps it's because, when I'm looking in a mirror, I'm looking at one specific body part (hand, leg, whatever) and don't normally concentrate on the whole thing so much. On video, that's the first thing you get - the whole thing. And I've never really LIKED the "whole thing" so I can't seem to get past that aversion in order to dissect what's actually going on.
Interesting. I'm going to have to figure out how to either develop a better sense of what I'm doing so I don't need the mirrors so much - or get over my aversion to what I look like.
Fat chance :)
Had an interesting realization today - As a dancer, I have become extremely dependent upon mirrors for visual feedback of what my body is doing - so much so that I find myself really REALLY missing them at the rink. It's as if my own kinaesthetic awareness isn't really enough for me to know what I'm doing - the mirrors have become, over the years, a crutch. It's making it hard for me to really KNOW what I look like, if I'm hitting the right positions, if I have my weight in the right place, blah blah blah. When Anna or Will tell me to "lean this way", or "turn the shoulders that way", I can't really tell if I'm doing it or not. I NEED those mirrors.
I never realized how dependent upon them I had become. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean - as a dancer, it's ok because you almost always have them - but as a skater it's proving to be a challenge. You can - sort of - see you reflection in the safety plexiglass around the edges of the rink - it's there for hockey - but not well enough to tell what you really look like.
It's too bad that I have a major aversion to watching myself on video... For some strange reason, I'm OK watching myself intently in a mirror for hours on end during a class or rehearsal, but make me sit down and watch a video of myself and I get extremely uncomfortable. Not sure why. Perhaps it's because, when I'm looking in a mirror, I'm looking at one specific body part (hand, leg, whatever) and don't normally concentrate on the whole thing so much. On video, that's the first thing you get - the whole thing. And I've never really LIKED the "whole thing" so I can't seem to get past that aversion in order to dissect what's actually going on.
Interesting. I'm going to have to figure out how to either develop a better sense of what I'm doing so I don't need the mirrors so much - or get over my aversion to what I look like.
Fat chance :)
Friday, June 11, 2010
Finally making progress partnering
It's been a hard-fought battle, but I think I'm finally getting used to skating with a partner. Poor Anna has been terribly patient with me (including a couple of near-wipeouts that would have definitely left a mark) and her patience has borne fruit. I've just about got the Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango under my belt (well, not good enough for my ultra-perfectionist bent, but nearly good enough, it seems, to pass the test). We start work on Rhythm & Blues next week. I've missed the opportunity for testing in June (that's next week) but I should be ready the next time around - at least for the dance tests. I'm still working on the first MIF (Moves in the Field) figure skating elements and don't have them all down yet - but with another month or so they might be ready as well.
I continue to struggle with getting my ass out of bed at 5am. Once I'm up and moving, I'm always glad to be getting dressed and out the door to the rink, but getting my lazy ass to actually get UP has become a struggle. Not sure if it's just that I'm tired (which I am - having insomnia issues) or just suffering from a flagging dedication to the enormous amount of work this has turned out to be - but one way or the other, I seem to only get to the rink 2 or 3 times a week right now. Need to spend some time this weekend figuring out what it's going to take to get my lazy butt up every morning.
Cattle prod, anyone?
I continue to struggle with getting my ass out of bed at 5am. Once I'm up and moving, I'm always glad to be getting dressed and out the door to the rink, but getting my lazy ass to actually get UP has become a struggle. Not sure if it's just that I'm tired (which I am - having insomnia issues) or just suffering from a flagging dedication to the enormous amount of work this has turned out to be - but one way or the other, I seem to only get to the rink 2 or 3 times a week right now. Need to spend some time this weekend figuring out what it's going to take to get my lazy butt up every morning.
Cattle prod, anyone?
Saturday, May 22, 2010
No Practice = No Progress?
It seems the Universe is conspiring against me these days! I'm still trying to get ready to take my first tests in June, and am just now coming off of almost two weeks of being sick and not skating. That's definitely a prescription for progress, huh? :)
I finally got back to the rink on Wednesday for my partnering lesson with Anna - at that point I decided I was done sitting on my butt and had to get out and DO something - as if just "deciding not to be sick anymore" would just magically solve the problem, right? The funny thing is, even with not having skated since my last lesson with her, we still made some progress. The same thing happened at my lesson with Will two days later. This seems to run counter to logic, but not necessarily.
One thing I learned as a dancer was that sleeping on a new move from a class, or some new choreography for a show, nearly always made a difference to both my retention and performance. It's as if the body needed a day to digest the new stuff and incorporate it before it was ever going to be permanent. Invariably, the day after a hard class or really long rehearsal, things were somehow easier. I've found that happening in skating as well - I can spend a whole practice session on something and really struggle, just to come to the rink the next morning and toss it off like it was nothing.
Interesting thing, the brain. Turns out, "digestion" is essentially just what's going on here. The same thing happens with academic learning as well. That sleep time allows the brain a chance to solidify new memories. Many athletes do "mental practices", running through visualizations of their movements, as well, and there's some research to suggest that these visualizations trigger the same areas of the brain that would actually perform the movements in the real world. These also seem to 'work' - I do them myself with both dance and skating.
So bottom line, even though I didn't make it to the rink much while I've been down with the flu, I did make some progress. You can't make a habit of that, of course :)
I finally got back to the rink on Wednesday for my partnering lesson with Anna - at that point I decided I was done sitting on my butt and had to get out and DO something - as if just "deciding not to be sick anymore" would just magically solve the problem, right? The funny thing is, even with not having skated since my last lesson with her, we still made some progress. The same thing happened at my lesson with Will two days later. This seems to run counter to logic, but not necessarily.
One thing I learned as a dancer was that sleeping on a new move from a class, or some new choreography for a show, nearly always made a difference to both my retention and performance. It's as if the body needed a day to digest the new stuff and incorporate it before it was ever going to be permanent. Invariably, the day after a hard class or really long rehearsal, things were somehow easier. I've found that happening in skating as well - I can spend a whole practice session on something and really struggle, just to come to the rink the next morning and toss it off like it was nothing.
Interesting thing, the brain. Turns out, "digestion" is essentially just what's going on here. The same thing happens with academic learning as well. That sleep time allows the brain a chance to solidify new memories. Many athletes do "mental practices", running through visualizations of their movements, as well, and there's some research to suggest that these visualizations trigger the same areas of the brain that would actually perform the movements in the real world. These also seem to 'work' - I do them myself with both dance and skating.
So bottom line, even though I didn't make it to the rink much while I've been down with the flu, I did make some progress. You can't make a habit of that, of course :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Serious illness as a weight loss plan
I've finally discovered what it takes for my chubby cheeks to go away. It's called "stomach flu".
Downside: Sick as a dog for three days and completely ready to just die and get it over with.
Upside:Didn't couldn't eat anything for three days and my cheeks are once again concave.
Back to the rink in the morning. Will be interesting to see if I've lost any strength. My luck, probably....
Not the best way to finally start dumping weight, but hey - at my age you take it how you can get it! :)
Downside: Sick as a dog for three days and completely ready to just die and get it over with.
Upside:
Back to the rink in the morning. Will be interesting to see if I've lost any strength. My luck, probably....
Not the best way to finally start dumping weight, but hey - at my age you take it how you can get it! :)
Friday, May 7, 2010
Just what I needed
One of the other adult skaters has been trying to get me to come to Blue's group abs class on Tuesdays. You remember Blue, right? My twenty-something-underwear-model former trainer? Yeah - that Blue. Seems he's back in town from a big photo shoot and back to showing off his ripped abs and negative body fat. Even better (if you can call it "better") he evidently has another underwear model friend from France staying with him right now.... love the name - "Christophe". Sounds like a men's fragrance, doesn't it. "Blue Christophe". :)
Am I going to put my 48-year-old body in a room with the fragrance boys and their abs? Am I going to slit my wrists and sing christmas carols at the top of my lungs while walking on the freeway? Same chance.
Just what I need.
Sigh.
Ok - as for the actual skating, things went really REALLY well this week. The extra lessons with Anna are having an impact and my fundamentals are getting stronger as a result. I'm working my butt off (figuratively, if not actually) and starting to see movement again. For a while there, I felt like I was plateauing, but this was just the kick I needed to start making progress again.
Turns out, I'm really getting the hang of partnering - at least in the simplest dance position, "Killian". Then, just when I was showing signs of being able to skate with someone without being a hazard to their health, Anna throws the "reverse Killian" at me this week. Everything is the same, only different. In Killian, she's on the right side. In Reverse Killian, she's on the left. Give me just a moment while I tear out my brain, turn it around, and jam it back into my skull. Thank you.
It took me a little bit, but I think I finally started to understand it by the end of the session.
I've really been working hard on getting my body positions right - the sessions with Anna highlighted where the problems are, and I've focused on those during my technique practice sessions. That bore fruit during my lesson with Will today - he actually complimented my knee bend. Yes, it's the end of the world. Are your feet feeling a might frostbitten?
Of course, that stupid mohawk in the Swing Dance was still driving me batty. Will figured that out today - and just like the 3-turns, I was trying too hard. He got me to let go and just let it happen and suddenly the last of my problems dropped away.
Sometimes, all I need is for someone to get me to take a deep breath.
Just what I needed. :)
Am I going to put my 48-year-old body in a room with the fragrance boys and their abs? Am I going to slit my wrists and sing christmas carols at the top of my lungs while walking on the freeway? Same chance.
Just what I need.
Sigh.
Ok - as for the actual skating, things went really REALLY well this week. The extra lessons with Anna are having an impact and my fundamentals are getting stronger as a result. I'm working my butt off (figuratively, if not actually) and starting to see movement again. For a while there, I felt like I was plateauing, but this was just the kick I needed to start making progress again.
Turns out, I'm really getting the hang of partnering - at least in the simplest dance position, "Killian". Then, just when I was showing signs of being able to skate with someone without being a hazard to their health, Anna throws the "reverse Killian" at me this week. Everything is the same, only different. In Killian, she's on the right side. In Reverse Killian, she's on the left. Give me just a moment while I tear out my brain, turn it around, and jam it back into my skull. Thank you.
It took me a little bit, but I think I finally started to understand it by the end of the session.
I've really been working hard on getting my body positions right - the sessions with Anna highlighted where the problems are, and I've focused on those during my technique practice sessions. That bore fruit during my lesson with Will today - he actually complimented my knee bend. Yes, it's the end of the world. Are your feet feeling a might frostbitten?
Of course, that stupid mohawk in the Swing Dance was still driving me batty. Will figured that out today - and just like the 3-turns, I was trying too hard. He got me to let go and just let it happen and suddenly the last of my problems dropped away.
Sometimes, all I need is for someone to get me to take a deep breath.
Just what I needed. :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Partnering lessons really making a difference
So I've now had two partnering lessons with Anna - and WOW is this making a difference. Skating WITH someone is a lot different from skating by yourself, and quite frankly it highlights everything you are doing wrong (especially when the person you are skating with is doing everything right....). What's interesting is that I'm not only starting to get the hang of partnering, but it's actually making my solo skating a lot better. The last two weeks have been a real revelation, and I feel like I've made more progress recently than in the past few months.
It's kind of expensive having two lessons a week like this (30 min with Anna on Wednesdays and an hour with Will on Fridays for technique and fundamentals) but this is probably what I need right now in order to make the kind of progress I expect of myself. Anna and Will both harp on me for being too hard on myself, but hell - I'm 48 - I don't have TIME to be slow at this..... :)
All told, I'm really happy with things right now, and we are trying to get me ready for both the first set of dance tests and MIF tests in June. That's a lot of work, but I think I can make it as long as I put my nose to the grindstone. I have all the dances solo, so Anna and I just have to get them figured out partnered. As to the MIF stuff, I just have to get the three turn pattern down consistently and clean up the waltz-8 and I should be fine. I won't knock the judge's socks off, but I should be able to get through it.
Interesting - as a performer, I typically am not happy with a performance that doesn't get a wild standing ovation - anything less than that is a fail for me. I can see now how that is impacting skating - my standards for myself are really REALLY high. That's not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't turn self-destructive. In a lot of my practice sessions, I end up beating myself over the head because I can't make this stuff look effortless yet.
I just have to remind myself that first you fall, then you fall, then you fall, then you sort of do it, then you fall, then you sort of get it again, and after another month you might be able to do it without thinking.... and there's no real way to shortcut that.
It's kind of expensive having two lessons a week like this (30 min with Anna on Wednesdays and an hour with Will on Fridays for technique and fundamentals) but this is probably what I need right now in order to make the kind of progress I expect of myself. Anna and Will both harp on me for being too hard on myself, but hell - I'm 48 - I don't have TIME to be slow at this..... :)
All told, I'm really happy with things right now, and we are trying to get me ready for both the first set of dance tests and MIF tests in June. That's a lot of work, but I think I can make it as long as I put my nose to the grindstone. I have all the dances solo, so Anna and I just have to get them figured out partnered. As to the MIF stuff, I just have to get the three turn pattern down consistently and clean up the waltz-8 and I should be fine. I won't knock the judge's socks off, but I should be able to get through it.
Interesting - as a performer, I typically am not happy with a performance that doesn't get a wild standing ovation - anything less than that is a fail for me. I can see now how that is impacting skating - my standards for myself are really REALLY high. That's not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't turn self-destructive. In a lot of my practice sessions, I end up beating myself over the head because I can't make this stuff look effortless yet.
I just have to remind myself that first you fall, then you fall, then you fall, then you sort of do it, then you fall, then you sort of get it again, and after another month you might be able to do it without thinking.... and there's no real way to shortcut that.
Friday, April 9, 2010
OCD much?
Every once in a while, I get completely laser-beam focused on one thing that's pissing me off - and I don't practice anything else. By Friday, I figure that out when Will asks me "what did I work on this week" and I only have one thing in the list.... Complete OCD moment.
This week is was those freakin' mohawk turns. A few weeks back, Will threw the first of the next "set" of dances at me - Swing Dance - and it's the first one where I have to change direction in the middle of a dance (from skating forward to skating backward). Hence the freakin' mohawk. Now keep in mind - this is the most rudimentary turn there is - I see 8 year olds doing this every morning. It shouldn't be any big deal. But it is, damnit.
First I could only do it on the left side, and the dance needs it on the right. So I started ONLY practicing it on the right. Then, I couldn't get the stupid thing to be stable after the foot switch and spend all of this week doing it over and over and over and over and over... You get the picture.
Will and Anna both tell me that I'm too hard on myself. While that might be true, I live in constant terror that I'm going to be just another lame adult skater. I've talked about that in previous posts. Most of the videos I see on YouTube are lame lame lame lame (to borrow a line from "The Incredibles"). I refuse to end up being lame. Maybe that makes me obsess a bit... ok a lot... alright a whole lot.
Of course, it only took Will 5 minutes to see what I was doing wrong (and practicing wrong, of course) all week. We went on to other stuff, which I promptly obsessed over as well. It was just one of those weeks.
Funny thing - Will (and Anna both, really) are always harping on me to bend my knees more. While working on forward crossovers this morning, I finally just got completely passive-aggressive pissy and decided to bend my knees so much that my ass was dragging the ice. Childish - but remember, I was in an OCD space this morning already. Will's reaction? THAT'S IT!!!!!!
Damn. :)
Anna did give me some more opportunties to work on partnering this morning, and I think (*think*) I made some progress. It's really tricky, and it pisses me off that it's not just coming to me naturally. For god's sake, I spent most of my dance career partnering - I should be able to just DO this. (OCD much?). We did decide that I probably need to get partnering coaching independently from my normal lesson - so I will probably start doing 30 minutes with Anna on Wednesdays. She has this uncanny ability to tell what I'm doing wrong just by what she can feel through our hands. That's cool - creepy as all hell, but cool.
Sigh. 18 months and I'm still lame lame lame lame. This is gonna freakin' drive me crazy.
This week is was those freakin' mohawk turns. A few weeks back, Will threw the first of the next "set" of dances at me - Swing Dance - and it's the first one where I have to change direction in the middle of a dance (from skating forward to skating backward). Hence the freakin' mohawk. Now keep in mind - this is the most rudimentary turn there is - I see 8 year olds doing this every morning. It shouldn't be any big deal. But it is, damnit.
First I could only do it on the left side, and the dance needs it on the right. So I started ONLY practicing it on the right. Then, I couldn't get the stupid thing to be stable after the foot switch and spend all of this week doing it over and over and over and over and over... You get the picture.
Will and Anna both tell me that I'm too hard on myself. While that might be true, I live in constant terror that I'm going to be just another lame adult skater. I've talked about that in previous posts. Most of the videos I see on YouTube are lame lame lame lame (to borrow a line from "The Incredibles"). I refuse to end up being lame. Maybe that makes me obsess a bit... ok a lot... alright a whole lot.
Of course, it only took Will 5 minutes to see what I was doing wrong (and practicing wrong, of course) all week. We went on to other stuff, which I promptly obsessed over as well. It was just one of those weeks.
Funny thing - Will (and Anna both, really) are always harping on me to bend my knees more. While working on forward crossovers this morning, I finally just got completely passive-aggressive pissy and decided to bend my knees so much that my ass was dragging the ice. Childish - but remember, I was in an OCD space this morning already. Will's reaction? THAT'S IT!!!!!!
Damn. :)
Anna did give me some more opportunties to work on partnering this morning, and I think (*think*) I made some progress. It's really tricky, and it pisses me off that it's not just coming to me naturally. For god's sake, I spent most of my dance career partnering - I should be able to just DO this. (OCD much?). We did decide that I probably need to get partnering coaching independently from my normal lesson - so I will probably start doing 30 minutes with Anna on Wednesdays. She has this uncanny ability to tell what I'm doing wrong just by what she can feel through our hands. That's cool - creepy as all hell, but cool.
Sigh. 18 months and I'm still lame lame lame lame. This is gonna freakin' drive me crazy.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Found a new way to hurt myself!
If you've been keeping up with my entries, you know by now that I have discovered endlessly interesting ways to hurt myself at the ice rink. Nearly all start with a caught toe pick (which, as I've said before, were invented by Satan). Friday's lesson was no less interesting. Will says he's never heard of anyone doing what I did - so I may have discovered a new trick - but don't be looking for it to become a required short program element any time soon.
So, I was skating backwards (always a good way to begin a wipeout) and learning some complicated foot stuff that essentially requires you to tie your legs into a square knot, untangle them standing on one foot starting with your knees, then do it all over again on the other foot - all while propelling yourself ass-first across the ice. Of course - I caught a toe pick (have I mentioned they were created by Satan?) and went down in a blaze of flailing arms and skittering blades. That part is nothing new - I've gotten pretty good at it, really. The trick is in nailing the dismount.
This time, however, I elected to change up my normal fall and attempt to catch myself with just the right thumbnail, directly down into the ice...
After the fall was over, I knew something was wrong with my thumb, but didn't know what just yet. I felt the bone, working my way up from the base and discovered, happily, that it didn't seem broken or dislocated. So good so far. When I got to the nail, however, I realized that the edge of my thumbnail was now sticking up at a 90 degree angle from what one would normally expect from a more well-behaved thumbnail.
Yep - I'd bent it back at a 90 degree angle, halfway down the nail bed. (go ahead and shiver - everyone I've told this story to was a little "squicked" by it)
Thank goodness I had gloves on so I didn't have to SEE it like that. (ick) I immediately pressed it back down into place (with a rather sickening "click") and then had to decide whether to actually look at the results or not. Will solved that question for me - he insisted we look to make sure it wasn't something that needed a trip to the ER.
We went over to the side and I pulled off the glove, expecting the worst. Fortunately, although there was some blood and it was already turning black and blue, it still LOOKED like a thumb, so we were in good shape. It hurt like hell, but I have a high tolerance for pain, so no biggie and I finished the lesson.
The good news is that Anna was there, and we got to practice partnering some more. I finally think I'm getting the hang of having a small, rather pushy perfectionist in my personal space :) At least, it felt more solid than it has in the past, and I don't think I caused her any permanent damage in the process. I do need to figure out how to get more partnering practice time, or I'm never going to get this down. I wonder if you can rent a partner in the pro shop? :)
The thumb is healing well, although I'm going to get to look at a white "fold line" on my thumbnail for the next 6 months or so.
Goodie.
So, I was skating backwards (always a good way to begin a wipeout) and learning some complicated foot stuff that essentially requires you to tie your legs into a square knot, untangle them standing on one foot starting with your knees, then do it all over again on the other foot - all while propelling yourself ass-first across the ice. Of course - I caught a toe pick (have I mentioned they were created by Satan?) and went down in a blaze of flailing arms and skittering blades. That part is nothing new - I've gotten pretty good at it, really. The trick is in nailing the dismount.
This time, however, I elected to change up my normal fall and attempt to catch myself with just the right thumbnail, directly down into the ice...
After the fall was over, I knew something was wrong with my thumb, but didn't know what just yet. I felt the bone, working my way up from the base and discovered, happily, that it didn't seem broken or dislocated. So good so far. When I got to the nail, however, I realized that the edge of my thumbnail was now sticking up at a 90 degree angle from what one would normally expect from a more well-behaved thumbnail.
Yep - I'd bent it back at a 90 degree angle, halfway down the nail bed. (go ahead and shiver - everyone I've told this story to was a little "squicked" by it)
Thank goodness I had gloves on so I didn't have to SEE it like that. (ick) I immediately pressed it back down into place (with a rather sickening "click") and then had to decide whether to actually look at the results or not. Will solved that question for me - he insisted we look to make sure it wasn't something that needed a trip to the ER.
We went over to the side and I pulled off the glove, expecting the worst. Fortunately, although there was some blood and it was already turning black and blue, it still LOOKED like a thumb, so we were in good shape. It hurt like hell, but I have a high tolerance for pain, so no biggie and I finished the lesson.
The good news is that Anna was there, and we got to practice partnering some more. I finally think I'm getting the hang of having a small, rather pushy perfectionist in my personal space :) At least, it felt more solid than it has in the past, and I don't think I caused her any permanent damage in the process. I do need to figure out how to get more partnering practice time, or I'm never going to get this down. I wonder if you can rent a partner in the pro shop? :)
The thumb is healing well, although I'm going to get to look at a white "fold line" on my thumbnail for the next 6 months or so.
Goodie.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Solid weeks work.
I had a very solid week at the rink. Will has me working on the first dance of the next test set (Swing Dance) and I've needed to get my mohawks more stable so I can do them at speed on-the-fly. Figured out my problem was that I wasn't changing feed directly under my center (I do that a lot...) and once I started focusing on it, things evened out quickly. Also spend time on the 3-turns. At my lesson last week, Will commented that I was a bit too "frantic" and trying to force them. I needed to relax and let the turn happen on it's own. That solved that problem. Same deal on the forward cross rolls - trying to go at it too hard and needed to slow down.
This seems to be a common theme for me - not just on the ice, but in life generally. My first approach to any task is to go at it full-bore, as if determination and sheer force of will would get me through. Often as not, I end up as a bull in a china shop and really just need to relax. I've caught myself doing that at work lately and am trying to drop it down a few notches and not try to make things happen - rather, set the conditions and let them happen.
That's going to be a tough one. Not my "default setting" by any means. If I'm going to keep from killing a partner, I have to learn this. As a dancer, having that sort of "force of personality" was an asset, but on the ice it just seems to lead to chaos.
Slow down.
Relax.
If you know me, you know just how hard that is going to be.
Hell, I even type fast.
This seems to be a common theme for me - not just on the ice, but in life generally. My first approach to any task is to go at it full-bore, as if determination and sheer force of will would get me through. Often as not, I end up as a bull in a china shop and really just need to relax. I've caught myself doing that at work lately and am trying to drop it down a few notches and not try to make things happen - rather, set the conditions and let them happen.
That's going to be a tough one. Not my "default setting" by any means. If I'm going to keep from killing a partner, I have to learn this. As a dancer, having that sort of "force of personality" was an asset, but on the ice it just seems to lead to chaos.
Slow down.
Relax.
If you know me, you know just how hard that is going to be.
Hell, I even type fast.
Monday, February 22, 2010
5am is a terrible time of morning to be awake...
As much as I'm loving being on the ice, I'm really struggling with having to be up at 5am every day. I think I've mentioned before that figure skating has the rink from 6am to about 3pm every day, and the hockey programs go from then until nearly midnight. So if I want to skate, it has to be at the crack of dawn.... and I've NEVER been a morning person. Either that, or start playing hockey... which would be a better fit for my linebacker's build, but not nearly (I don't think) as fun.
So here I am, vowing every night when I go to bed that I WILL get up and go to the rink in the morning, just to have my sleepy hand reach for the snooze button on the alarm the next morning....
The spirit is willing but the flesh is a nightowl.
Not sure how to resolve this. I hate that I'm not getting to the rink every day - it's down to about 3 days right now - but I guess I'm just not getting enough sleep and the body is overruling me. With the motorcycle accident over the summer, I've already had to give up my goal of competing at the Gay Games this year - but the next one in 2014 is in Cleveland, which will be a lot less expensive than Germany, anyway. I've figured out that I won't jump to a new age bracket (OK, I'm just going to miss jumping age brackets) so I have four years of pushing myself out of bed in the morning to look forward to if Cleveland is going to happen.
Goody...
I suppose the good news is that things are getting a lot easier for me. The strength in my right leg is returning, and I'm starting to get bored during my practice sessions - a sure sign of progress. I promise to be better about doing updates.
So here I am, vowing every night when I go to bed that I WILL get up and go to the rink in the morning, just to have my sleepy hand reach for the snooze button on the alarm the next morning....
The spirit is willing but the flesh is a nightowl.
Not sure how to resolve this. I hate that I'm not getting to the rink every day - it's down to about 3 days right now - but I guess I'm just not getting enough sleep and the body is overruling me. With the motorcycle accident over the summer, I've already had to give up my goal of competing at the Gay Games this year - but the next one in 2014 is in Cleveland, which will be a lot less expensive than Germany, anyway. I've figured out that I won't jump to a new age bracket (OK, I'm just going to miss jumping age brackets) so I have four years of pushing myself out of bed in the morning to look forward to if Cleveland is going to happen.
Goody...
I suppose the good news is that things are getting a lot easier for me. The strength in my right leg is returning, and I'm starting to get bored during my practice sessions - a sure sign of progress. I promise to be better about doing updates.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Return of FreightTrain
FreightTrain put in an appearance this week - Will tells me he's back from college for the holidays.
Am I a bad person because I'm secretly delighted that FreightTrain succumbed to the inevitable "Freshmen Ten"?
No - I'm just a pissy, middle-aged dancer, that's all.
I was commenting to Will that FreightTrain intimidated the crap out of me (not that I haven't mentioned that to him before - I have got to stop treating him like a therapist). FreightTrain is someone my size but 30 years younger and a good 40 pounds lighter who moves with such effortless confidence and strength across the ice. Then Will pointed out his lack of fine control and technique and I suddenly saw past my envy, rage, envy, admiration and envy and saw him with fresh eyes Will was right, of course (he has that maddening tendency). Underneath the flash, power and beauty was a lack of the amazing control and fine technique that attracted me to this sport from the first time I saw Torville and Dean on the ice 25 years ago. In other words, FreightTrain wasn't really all that.
Of course, that got me to thinking. Perhaps my lack of satisfaction with my own ability to look like I know what the hell I am doing is less about ability and more about mental state. After all, FreightTrain proves that you can come across as amazing without necessarily having the chops to back it up - it's all about attitude. I should know better, of course - in life, in acting, and certainly in dance, ability and training are only part of the equation - equally important is attitude. I learned from my years as a working dancer with only marginal technique myself that I could "sell" anything, that that often made the difference in auditions. I could never get my leg up higher my waist, and jumped like an overfed heifer, but no one cared because I could make them like me anyway. How I managed to forget that lesson is a mystery.
Bottom line, however, I realized then and there that I would have to start rethinking how I think about myself on the ice. As long as I feel intimidated, I'm going to look intimidated. Duh.
Other than that, it was a productive week on the ice. Will threw some new stuff at me on Friday (backward swing rolls, which are a lot of fun), and everything else seems to be coming along nicely. He even complimented my Dutch Waltz - I was fretting over a little nuance thing that I knew I wasn't getting right, and he blurted out "it's good enough already to pass the test" and that I should relax. Really? Good enough to pass - this piece of crap? OK - maybe I'm being to hard on myself. I do have a tendency to put the microscope to myself and only highlight flaws - and god knows this sport excels at pointing out flaws (because you typically fall on your ass because of them).
So the lesson for the week? Relax. :)
Am I a bad person because I'm secretly delighted that FreightTrain succumbed to the inevitable "Freshmen Ten"?
No - I'm just a pissy, middle-aged dancer, that's all.
I was commenting to Will that FreightTrain intimidated the crap out of me (not that I haven't mentioned that to him before - I have got to stop treating him like a therapist). FreightTrain is someone my size but 30 years younger and a good 40 pounds lighter who moves with such effortless confidence and strength across the ice. Then Will pointed out his lack of fine control and technique and I suddenly saw past my envy, rage, envy, admiration and envy and saw him with fresh eyes Will was right, of course (he has that maddening tendency). Underneath the flash, power and beauty was a lack of the amazing control and fine technique that attracted me to this sport from the first time I saw Torville and Dean on the ice 25 years ago. In other words, FreightTrain wasn't really all that.
Of course, that got me to thinking. Perhaps my lack of satisfaction with my own ability to look like I know what the hell I am doing is less about ability and more about mental state. After all, FreightTrain proves that you can come across as amazing without necessarily having the chops to back it up - it's all about attitude. I should know better, of course - in life, in acting, and certainly in dance, ability and training are only part of the equation - equally important is attitude. I learned from my years as a working dancer with only marginal technique myself that I could "sell" anything, that that often made the difference in auditions. I could never get my leg up higher my waist, and jumped like an overfed heifer, but no one cared because I could make them like me anyway. How I managed to forget that lesson is a mystery.
Bottom line, however, I realized then and there that I would have to start rethinking how I think about myself on the ice. As long as I feel intimidated, I'm going to look intimidated. Duh.
Other than that, it was a productive week on the ice. Will threw some new stuff at me on Friday (backward swing rolls, which are a lot of fun), and everything else seems to be coming along nicely. He even complimented my Dutch Waltz - I was fretting over a little nuance thing that I knew I wasn't getting right, and he blurted out "it's good enough already to pass the test" and that I should relax. Really? Good enough to pass - this piece of crap? OK - maybe I'm being to hard on myself. I do have a tendency to put the microscope to myself and only highlight flaws - and god knows this sport excels at pointing out flaws (because you typically fall on your ass because of them).
So the lesson for the week? Relax. :)
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