Beaten to a pulp

Oh my god.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

After (hell during) my workout session with Blue today, I literally became physically ill. When I got home, I had to lay down, and then I had a horrible craving for sugar. I really let him take me close to the edge this time. Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done. I can barely walk (that's normal), but being physically ill is another matter altogether.

Note to self - be willing to cry uncle before you die, not after. "After" really wouldn't do you much good now would it, shithead...

The frustrating thing is that, 10 years ago none of this would have really been that hard. A challenge perhaps, but not something that was life threatening. I could kick myself for letting life get in the way of my health.

I am beginning, I think, to understand why more adults don't exercise, and why they don't pick up new physical activities very often. How in the hell do you find the time? I've only been to the rink twice this week, when my goal was 5 days a week. Life just gets in the friggin' way. Between nursing my ex, who wrapped his truck around a telephone pole while I was on vacation (asshole), and the hyper-demanding life at Microsoft (with early morning and late evening meetings with folks in other time zones), there just aren't enough hours in the day to properly take care of yourself. This probably accounts for a lot of growing waistlines, bulging buttocks, and early heart attacks, to be sure.

I can't imagine what people with kids do. When would you have TIME to properly take care of your family? I can't imagine.

When I embarked on this process, I never dreamed what it was really going to demand of me.

Surprise! I guess..... :)