Testing August 16

Well it looks like we finally have a target date for my first tests - August 16.  Yes, I'm terrified.

The good news is that the Dutch Waltz and Canasta Tango will definitely be ready (they are pretty much there now) and it's a good bet that Rhythm & Blues will be ready as well.  It would be nice to pass all three and get to my first level all in one go.  The real question will be whether the first Moves in the Field (MIF) test will be ready or not.  I've got everything but the three turn combination pretty much well in hand at this point, but it all needs polishing.  That three turn combination might not be ready in time as I've not had much time to work on it. Unlike the dances (which you can take individually over several testing periods) the MIF stuff has to all be passed at once.  At any rate, I'm going to leave it up to Will and Anna as to what we tackle.

The one bright spot in all this is that one of the other coaches saw Anna and I working on the Dutch Waltz on Wednesday and asked "why haven't you tested" :)  That made my day more than he will probably ever know.

I've been watching more videos of people testing on YouTube, and it's surprising what crap passes, quite frankly.  I know that Will is setting higher standards for me - mostly because (he says) the adult track doesn't have the rigor of the standard track (the "kids" track) and he thinks I can aspire to more, but I'm honestly surprised at how lame a lot of the testing videos are.  I've mentioned this to Will more than once, worried that in spite of all my work I look just as lame, but he assures me that I don't.  I think I've said before in a post that I don't want to work this hard to just make my way UP to "lame".

I will admit to being a little frustrated - my original goal was to pass my first set of tests within a year of starting - and yes, I'm arrogant :)  Losing last summer to that broken ankle put me at least 5 months behind, so I suppose I'm close to that original schedule - October will be 2 years since I started (DAMN has it really been two years?) so it's more like 16 months when you take out the lost time.  I guess I shouldn't be pissy about it, but I am.  I've never been one to settle for "normal" - been like that all my life.  "Average" is "failure" in my mental calculus.  Don't know where I got that from - certainly my parents never pushed me that hard - but it does make me work hard and set often unreasonable standards for myself.

I wonder if not always living up to my inflated standards is part of why I've always had a deep seated feeling of inadequacy...