Skating is not fun

Ok - there. I've said it.  Skating is not fun.  It doesn't feel like it's EVER been fun. 

I think I just needed to get that off my chest.  The past few workouts have been supremely frustrating.  I'm not making nearly the progress I feel like I should - There are things I am still struggling with that Will taught me over a year ago.  I don't get to be out on the ice and enjoying the movement and actually feeling like what I'm doing looks like something.  It's a soul crushing, ego destroying, clumsy horrid mess that is a chore more than a joy.

My mantra at my lesson this morning was "Crap - I have crap here, I have crap there - I have lots of crap.  You want crap, I can give you crap." All done with a flawless french accent :)

When I said this to Will this morning, he chided me pretty hard about my expectations and standards being way out of line.  He actually said at one point "are you expecting that you will look like me?"  I said - "well, to be honest - Yes, I do.  It doesn't make any sense, but I do".

Of course, this is all bullshit and of course I'm out of my mind and insane - but that's the truth.  I expect that I can do things as well and as effortlessly as my coach, whose been skating since he was a kid.

And so, I hate skating.  Logical, right?  :)

If I'm going to last with the sport, I'm going to have to come to terms with - and be OK with - being crappy.  And that's not something I'm good at.