DAMN it was hot in Seattle today. Suddenly, the prospect of standing on a huge block of ice tomorrow for my first skating tests doesn't sound so bad. Even if I make a complete ass of myself, at least I won't be SWEATING.
OK - so I'm nervous. Weird, huh? I've been on stage in front of 5,000 people, and I've even stood there NAKED, and this - THIS - is freaking me out? Go figure.
I think I've figured it out, though - this is more like an audition than a performance. I never had any problems with actual shows. I'm a wreck from "places" to my first entrance, but cool as a cucumber the rest of the time. I LOVE being in front of an audience. A nice, anonymous, faceless, audience.
Auditions always got the best of my nerves - and I think dancer-brain is treating this test like an audition. Great. Just what I need. Honestly, I think I'd be better off if there was a huge audience instead of just me and three people who are no doubt smirking behind their hands at a 48-year old fully grown adult trying to pick up this sport cold.
The bright spot is both my coaches say I am ready. As long as I can keep my nerves under control, I should be able to sail through this. In my head, I'm thinking "as long as I don't trip Anna and manage not to smear her against the boards", it's all good :) Dead coach = bad thing.
Wish me luck. I have a runthrough with both coaches in the morning, then an agonizing wait until 5:50pm when my tests start. I didn't even TRY to go to work Monday. No point - I'd be useless. I'm going to spend the day in my studio working on dresses for The Ruby Room's fundraiser fashion show. Hopefully, that will distract me enough.
or not....
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